untitled & half & like the world, unfolding & when you get to Mecca & as if my nerves could pray & fanfiction

untitled

you talk as if
you've got some syndrome
that makes your body
speak volumes while
your eyes stay cold;
you act as if your absence
overtakes your existence;
letting that emptiness
devour me, I mistake it
for hunger, I mistake it
for want, and your hands
pull me tighter,
they grab me at my flesh,
pulling me closer
into your nonexistence
*

* Half

We were whole,
on the green grass,
slightly crumpled and fresh,
damp of morning dew,
we sat and

We were whole,
and the wind blew softly through our words,
our laugh carried
in cool air, and
the nothing passed pleasantly by, and

We were whole,
and our hands were damp
of the dew and the sweat
so we rubbed them sweatier,
the sweetest scent, we said, and

We were whole,
and now our flesh is torn,
our wounds are open and the
summer breeze is cruel and hot
against our flushed, hot cheeks, and

Somewhere in the world,
half of me is crying
in all of you;
& your heart is half-beating
(all-breaking)
inside my chest.

*

like the world, unfolding

I trace your path on my body,
my fingers trailing across my skin,
blue veins under sheer pink silk,
the smoothest, softest surface;
I try to feel how you would,
exploring the new areas, soon familiar,
the places we share are somehow
so different,
my curves don't feel like yours would,
they rise and fall with my breath,
my fingers trail lower and lower,
down the twists and the turns,
dreaming your breath and your teeth,
your tongue where I touch,
your touch where I can't stay still,
I moan your name soundlessly,
and the doubts melt down your path,
the fears and the pain die down
under my fingers, my skin,
like a wave under another wave,
and the one after that,
and the one after that;
I open up like the world,
and I feel whole.

*

when you get to Mecca

When you get to Mecca,
the ground will shine
like millions and billions of diamonds
little ones, soaking in the hot sun,
flung by the harsh desert wind.

Your feet will be heavy
with the call of the desert
the sudden understanding
the calm certainty
twisting your stomach inside.

You will drown in the sand,
you will swim in it,
you will swim in a sea of people,
you will hear the sand in the wind
and the prayers, mumbled.

You will get there
and your eyes will be opened
with concern.

You will get there
and you'll find me in the crowd.

You will get there
and you'll find me hanging on for dear life.

The sand will taste like a kiss
and you'll reach out
to hold me.

*

as if my nerves could pray

my fingers are stretched towards you
as if my nerves could pray inside me,
my back arches towards the skies and they
are torn, they trickle down their stars
in this intrusive heat, and the city
separates me from you;

my body aches to be held,
to be touched and to taste

and the cars rustle outside like silk,
moaning against the slick black roads,
and the heat recollects for another attack,
a light brush of wind against my naked skin,
summer plays through my curves, teasing,
tasting my body as you would;

as if my nerves could pray inside me,
hungry and gnawing and clawing

i crave your hunger, your fingers
running silk between my legs,
spinning digging moaning poetry
into me, through me, iíll be louder
than the stars, i will kiss them upon
your lips and your breasts and your;

as if your body was god, writhing,
and my nerves could no longer hold

and the skies arch their infinite back and i
am torn, this city is too big and the distance
is measured in wind and murmurs and cars
on the black made sticky with summerís end,
i can taste the air so liquid on my tongue
and inhale tskies straight into my lungs;

i am honey and milk seeping pouring
crashing on your tongue transparent

*